We Hold His Beautiful Light: Three Reflections

We asked four former Venn Fellows—Cam and Judy Warner, Ben Van Dalen, and Juliana Los—to reflect in writing on their lives, their present contexts, and how their understanding of following Jesus in the world has deepened over recent years. Despite very different situations, each reflects with confidence on the ways God is active in the world, and how he has been drawing them each into his good purposes—Ed.

God is Doing Something Remarkable: Cam & Judy Warner

We met in 2018, not long after Judy completed the Venn Fellowship. She wouldn’t stop banging on about it, so after three years of convincing and cheerleading for Venn, Cam did it in 2021. After a few years of dating, we got married in 2022, and a year later decided to go on an adventure we felt God was blessing. So we boldly moved to London—and what an adventure it has been! We came over here with nothing organised; no jobs, no home, no church, and God blessed us with gifts we never could have imagined. Unheard of in London: we were offered a flat on the periphery of central London within three days of arriving. Judy got a job almost immediately working at St Mellitus College, a theological college that trains a quarter of the future vicars of the Church of England. Cam took a little longer (six months) to find a job, but now works in the legal team at the Holy Trinity Brompton Group (including HTB Church and Alpha). And in the absolute abundance of God’s generosity, both our jobs are within walking distance from home. We have also been blessed with great friends to journey with over here, and a beautiful church to worship and serve at in St Paul’s Hammersmith.

In the time we have been in London we have been witnessing a huge shift happening across the United Kingdom with God’s Kingdom coming down in an extraordinary way. We’re not too sure if it’s making international news, or if similar trends are happening in New Zealand. But here we are seeing signs that revival is coming. The term “Quiet Revival” has already been penned, and we are seeing it week after week after week in our church and work. In wildly unexpected ways, people all over the country are turning to Christ and being miraculously saved. An example shared with us recently: there were individuals near our church building selling and buying drugs; the Holy Spirit then came over them in a tangible way and they dumped the money and drugs in the bin and came into church and powerfully met God. Lives are literally taking a 180° turn, bones are being mended, allergies are being healed, addictions are being broken, young people are bringing their entire families to church. It is an incredible time to be part of the church. When Judy looks back at the times she shared her faith as a young person, she definitely wasn’t met with this kind of openness to Jesus. People all over the world are crying out for Jesus: for his love, his light. And he’s moving so powerfully! Through her work in the admissions team, she gets to stand beside those coming into spaces they’d never thought they’d see themselves (training to work for the Church of England), and we are privileged to find ourselves right in the midst of these new, Spirit-filled Christians.

However, there are times where we still find hearing God’s voice in daily life quite difficult. We live in the tension of witnessing an astonishing outpouring in our communities and yet, at times, it can feel bone dry in the places we ourselves long for God to touch. We’ve struggled with this tension for a while now. But God has been gently speaking in ways that we haven’t expected (classic God), and we’re recognising that we can draw from his evident blessing over others and receive a blessing over us. We’ve been followers of Jesus for some time: Judy, her whole life; Cam, the last 6 years. What we have seen in this cultural moment is his invitation to keep drawing closer: to seek ways to keep our light burning bright for our sake and for those around us. He is doing something remarkable, something we have never seen in our lifetimes, nor in the lifetime of almost all those around us. And his encouragement and challenge for us is to not to get disheartened, or bitter about what our faith looks like, but to keep looking where Jesus is moving and press in.

And right now he is doing exciting things and we can be part of it, simply by having a posture of openness to God. We share in the body of Christ: where one is rejoicing, the whole body can rejoice too. The obedience and wholehearted willingness of others to change their lives, inspires our faith in ways we never thought we’d see. We can see the light of God in so many others coming into our church and work places. And even though we’ve held the light for a bit longer, and sometimes it feels like it is shining a bit lower than those receiving blessing upon blessing in this quiet revival, God is saying that he is the light, he has shared his light with us. So within each and every one of us, we hold his beautiful light, which can be a vessel for this outpouring, and a way to increase the faith of those around us. And we all have a part to play.

When we think of what Jesus meant when he referred to being salt in the world, the Jews and Gentiles listening would have had a much different relationship with salt than we do. Salt was a precious preserver, a life-line for people to eat food safely. As we reflect on our role in this time of awakening or quiet revival, we can see part of our call as preservers. Where so many new Christians are coming to church, we can be salt for them, not losing our saltiness, but being filled again and again, encouraged by their faith, but also helping preserve and strengthen their faith through our own. In unravelling this picture of salt, it’s hard not to think of the words of St Augustine: “Lord put salt on my lips that I may thirst for thee”. As we find ourselves surrounded by fresh expressions of the Spirit and by the new Christians responding, we can play our part as salt in the world in helping challenge and encourage them to go deeper and further with God. In doing so, we find ourselves drawing closer to God, as our actions align with his purposes, in mentorship, fellowship, walking alongside students as they navigate the politics of church. God is using us as salt and light in our place here in London, and as best we can we’re keeping our ears and eyes open to obey his will in the world.

Incredibly Thankful: Ben Van Dalen

Life at the moment is full, in good way. Having recently gotten married, I am enjoying settling into this new season with my beautiful wife. I’m busy with my work running my own contracting business. I enjoy the variety that this can bring to my days which can range from restoring 100 year old wood work to welding a gate. My time outside of that is largely taken up with ongoing house renovations, involvement at church, and trying to maintain rhythms of rest and health—like running most mornings. I enjoy staying active and being hands-on with projects, and I’m grateful to be part of a church community that continues to be encouraging.

I left the Venn Fellowship 5 years ago unsure which church I would settle in. Despite what I anticipated I found myself returning to the church that I grew up in. I was keen to build a good Christian community where I would be encouraged to grow in my own faith and be able to serve others well. When I decided to settle in the church I wanted to be actively involved, and shortly began leading a bible study for young adults. Wanting to be intentional about community, bible study quickly evolved to regular movie nights and meals together. Over the years, it has been so wonderful to see the group grow in number and deep friendships form. It’s been cool to see so many of the younger members grow in their faith and commitment and I have found myself increasingly excited to delve into God’s Word and find connections that I hadn’t seen previously. An additional joy was meeting and getting to know my now wife Juliette.

A few years ago I became a deacon in the church. This required me to step into new levels of leadership and responsibility. This has been a privilege and, at times, a challenge. It has been amazing to see how God has sustained and supported me during my time in this role. Before I arrived at Venn I was a professional athlete and would never have imagined this would be where my life would be now. I’m incredibly thankful that this is where God has led me: for the people that he has surrounded me with, and for the way they encourage me to grow closer to him.

In Your Light We See Light: Juliana Los

I’m a UK-born Pakeha, with a strong European heritage and history. My father is Dutch, and distantly Polish—Los, our last name, translates to “Elk” in Polish—while my mother is from a long line of Scandinavian and British New Zealand settlers. I grew up with my parents and sisters in Switzerland, where my dad worked for a hedge fund. My sisters and I were educated locally. Our family would spend many weekends exploring Italy, visiting my Oma in the Black Forest, or spending time with the expat community, many of whom worshipped with us at St. Edwards in Lugano. My passion for culture was formed in these early years. And as a lively tomboy living in southern Europe, a second passion formed for the game of football. We moved to New Zealand to be closer to my mum’s parents and have a Kiwi upbringing, and my passion for culture and football persisted. Where culture lacked, I encountered creation, and where the boundary lines for playing football were once concrete walls, they were now the shifting tide lines of South Island beaches.

In my teenage years and into my early twenties, I longed to be a professional football player—to attain mastery, prominence, and influence. But the pursuit came to a head while I was living at a football academy. I was recovering from a concussion and had recently visited my Oma, who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, to say farewell to her. I was in my darkest hour and decided to reach out to a friend, and she introduced me to Jesus. I fell into his arms and received his light, his hope.

Glory Himself had entered my life; and in his light I could see the obsessive tendencies of high-performance sport—the dogged training and isolating activities that had characterised my life. “I have been an idolater!” I confessed, and gave up on my football career. Months later, after an Athletes in Action Camp where I was encouraged by Christian athletes navigating their faith and sport, I began playing again. I formed a new question for myself: “What else can I do in this game?” I learned to train with a grit and intensity that was selfless, sharpening those around me. During games, I affirmed my younger teammates in their belovedness irrespective of their performance. My spark for the game revived, and I decided to move to Sweden to pursue a professional football contract. In Sweden, I felt drawn to the leaders of the game: a coach, a retired Club Chief; and held them in prayer. The Lord was opening my eyes to the community around the game. I then signed a professional contract in Norrland (the far north of Sweden). Upon moving, my former teammates signed a playing top for me, inscribed on it: “Jules, you are a star”.

The Winter Nordic landscape awaited me: A white duvet pierced by rows of pine trees and covered in a tireless nighttime. This season of my life is captured well by describing my daily commute (for context, I lived on the top of a hill and commuted by walking). The icy mornings were challenging (and comical)—trudging through snow at a pace unbeknownst to the average Aucklander. Out at midday, I would lift my head and catch a glimpse of the sun hanging low on the horizon, refracting off the clouds and reflecting off the snow, shining weakly, as if to say, “In a little while you will see me no more”. What a sad and beautiful scene!

My hope to be a professional footballer became a collection of frozen embers. In the space of four months, I incurred two concussions. After 3 weeks in isolation, I found energy again and began sharing my testimony and faith in various settings, organised and unorganised. I was often met with tears… it was as if the people of the North held a deep-seated memory of Christ. I prayed for revival. And alongside this, I tried to start a football club. But amidst these fiery pursuits, the Lord called me home to New Zealand.

Once home, I was diagnosed with a mild traumatic brain injury. The suffering of this time, the forced rest, the eventual slowing down and acceptance of my situation, is what brought me to my knees in a real way. I looked to God and prayed, “Here I am”. For a while, he let me rest. I had simultaneously embarked on the Venn Fellowship, and I was welcomed into a community where my way in was not my ability to do things. The slippery pursuit of seeking validation brought me to my knees again and again. And it is in this place that a fire began to burn within my heart. The ice beneath me melted, and I landed on solid ground. I no longer needed to be seen by my achievements. I needed Jesus.

And this is approximately where I find myself today, only deeper in the soil. Culture is no longer an interest but a sphere I am working to understand and influence. I will never pursue a professional football contract again, but I get to design and facilitate the game for others. God has surprised me in this place, too. Other people’s care for craft, community, character formation, and disinterested play have encouraged and humbled me. God is drawing others into his good purposes for the world, and it is only by seeking him that I get to see and partake in this work. “In your light we see light” (Psalm 36).