Why do Anglicans gather and worship as we do? What meanings ground our ways of baptising, blessing, and burying? What do our regular rhythms of prayer and annual rhythms of celebration give to the day, the week, and the year? For some months, my Wednesday afternoons were spent drinking tea in the sunroom of his coastal cottage, the dappled shadows from an overhanging grapevine dancing on the windowsills, while he condensed a lifetime of theological reflection and pastoral experience into a series of rich conversations. I learnt much and was greatly appreciative, gratitude which I expressed on our final session by thanking him for his time. “Well now,” he replied, “you know, there’s no such thing as my time.”
It was the simplest of replies, but it stayed with me, and came to symbolise a deeply felt desire that has persisted for me: to be radically formed in a Christian sense of time. I was newly ordained when this conversation took place; I was starting to grapple with the complexities of partially-stipended ministry in age where church decline and the death of voluntarism seem to place impossible demands on ministers of the Church. Invariably, I felt that the hours I was working and the responsibilities I was taking on outweighed the level of renumeration, and the pressures on our household because of this meant endless potential for resentment. I was also newly a mother, with fresh anxieties about how my days should be spent. It seemed time was tied up with the problem of limitless obligation to others, with never enough time to give anyone what they really needed, and never enough of my own time.
Something of the spirit with which my tutor declared that “there is no such thing as my time” arrested me. There was a generosity and serenity that spoke to me of the kind of minister I would like to be. There was joy here too—a spark of humour—which told me that this perspective was somehow inextricably related to an experience of being human that I wanted to be on the inside of. I wanted to reach old age with that kind of joy: with much to give, and the freedom of spirit to give it; with thanksgiving for what has been, and the grace to face each day’s new challenges.
This conversation woke me up to some of the ways I was already formed in my experience—assumptions I had about the nature of time and what it is for which frequently surfaced in my language and expressed themselves in my sense of entitlement, or in moments of voicing resentment or stress. I was jealous for my time, guilty about wasting it, grieving the loss of it, fretful about the future. And so, I became curious about the alternatives to all of this—the Christian alternatives. Now that I thought about it, it seemed obvious that many of my ways of framing time were significantly at odds with how God commanded his people to live, or with what Jesus invited of his disciples. The people of the Exodus, wandering in the desert, are given bread from heaven, enough for each day, from the hand of the one who gives each day as a gift (Exodus 16). The prophet Isaiah is commanded to go out and meet King Ahaz with a message not to be anxious for his nation under threat, for the empires that surround Judah are Yahweh’s possession and they are passing away (see Isaiah 7). Jesus asks his disciples “which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” We are to look at the birds, who neither store nor reap, but who eat from God’s hand. We are to look at the flowers, which are here for a day and are gone tomorrow, but which are clothed in beauty that surpasses all of Solomon’s finery (see Matthew 6:25-34). These teachings and commands are not only about how to order our relationship with material realities. They are about hope, trust, confidence, patience: the ordering of our lives as creatures in time. I wanted to inhabit these ways of being in the world.
It has taken me a while to fully appreciate a connection between my original questions about our ways of gathering, worshiping, and celebrating—that is, the shape of our liturgy—and my longing for a kind of counter-formation. But I have come to realise that in fact the forms of worship and the rhythms of celebration which we have inherited from the ancient church are profoundly concerned with how we live within time. Our liturgies and rhythms were born out of a Christian understanding of temporality—an understanding which is steeped in the Scriptures of Israel and the life of the early church, and which is responsive to what this church had witnessed in the life of Jesus Christ. Our forms of worship are saturated with meaning, such that they have a unique and enduring power to shape our perspectives, to form and counter-form, and to gather us corporately into a shared experience of reality.
Here, I want to offer an account of some of the ways that liturgy, and particularly our observance of sacred time, can shape our perception and experience. And, given I have alluded to this shaping process as one of counter-formation, I’ll also offer some exploration of the ways we (as moderns) are already formed in our experience of time. Culturally, in the West at least, we have never been further removed from Christian ways of thinking about or inhabiting time; and this makes the problem of counter-formation both urgent and exciting. But before I enter into a discussion of these things, it’s fitting to draw attention to some of the essential features of a Christian perspective on time.
The gift of time
One way into this is to consider how we think about the questions “Why is there time?”, and “What is time for?” Our starting point must be the affirmation that time is God’s creation. In the ancient world, various philosophies and belief systems included a view of matter as eternal. Responding to these beliefs, the church fathers were strident in their insistence that material existence had a beginning, that creation was entirely the work of God, and that the creation of time was simultaneous with the creation of matter. Most notable in this regard is Augustine in Book XI of Confessions, which begins with an extended meditation on the first words of Genesis (“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth”). Augustine conceives of time as relating to change, and thus the existence of time presupposes the existence of things that are subject to change. For Augustine, creation is subject to change and variation in a way that God, by definition, is not. To conceive of God at all we must purge our thinking of time-bound categories. There can be no time before creation, he asserts, and it therefore makes no sense to ask, as many do, “What was God doing before he made heaven and earth?”, for this is to remain fixated on the realm where things have a past and future—the realm of created life.¹
To say that time is God’s creation, and that matter and time were simultaneously created may seem straightforward. There are certainly reasons we as moderns may find the relation between time and matter intuitive. But this affirmation has wide-reaching theological implications. If the creation of time relates to the creation of material existence, then the questions “Why is there time?” and “Why is there anything at all, rather than nothing?” must be considered together.² And here we plunge headlong into some of the most liberating things we can say about the nature of our own existence. When we profess that world was created out of nothing—that is ex nihilo—we are professing that nothing about creation is necessary.
Before the creation of matter and therefore time, there was only God, existing in eternal self-sufficiency. God does not need anything beyond himself to exist, nor does God require anything besides himself in order to create. This allows us to rule out a number of ways we could potentially conceive of God’s motivation in creating the universe, some of which would imply a perverse relationship between God and creation. As David Fagerberg puts it,
Creation neither fulfils a need in God (like he was lonely), nor is it the product of a natural process in him (like cells dividing), nor was he pressured into creating (there was no battle in the heavens, as some myths say), nor did he need help creating (it was a free act).³
What could motivate God’s act of creation, if not lack, necessity or external compulsion? Christians dare to declare that God simply wills the existence of something other than himself: that is, creation is the product of God’s free decision, an act of sheer delight and love. It is the result of, and is entirely consistent with God’s triune being, which is divine love in an eternal pattern of giving and receiving.
Time then, with the rest of creation, is God’s loving gift. And as with all other gifts, it is given as the means by which we can grow into the relationship which God has established, the means by which we may freely respond to God in love and thanksgiving.
There are a few threads to tease out here. First, our creaturely lives are the very medium through which God shares his life with us, they are “God taking time for us” as Karl Barth has memorably put it.4 Time is a gift for knowing and enjoying God. In fact, as Alexander Schmemann has argued elegantly in his book For the Life of the World, there is a degree to which this can be said of the created world in general, which has been given to us as a means for communion. God’s gifts—the things we hunger and thirst for, and on which we depend for our existence—were never intended to be consumed or enjoyed in and of themselves merely for their own sake. Rather they are signs which point beyond themselves, toward the giver. We enter into relationship with the giver—transforming the material of existence into communion—when we receive the world with gratitude, and offer it back.5 Our mortal lives themselves are to be received with thanksgiving, blessed, and given back to God, in a process that some refer to as the “sanctification of time”.6