Hana Leofo did the Venn Fellowship in 2021-22. We caught up with her over email to get her musings on life, faith, and friendship—Ed.
Tell us a bit about the shape of life for you.
I’m currently living in Hillsborough, Tāmaki Makaurau. I’m very fond of the area, having spent most of my young-adult life here. I share a flat with three friends, enjoying shared dinners, an abundant feijoa tree, and the occasional heated game of Bananagrams. I fellowship not far from home, at St James Anglican Church in Māngere Bridge, where I have been for the past two-and-a-half years. Participating in the Anglican tradition has been a new thing for me, but I’ve found a kind of home in the “oldness” of it and in the way it has encouraged in me the sense of a collective and shared faith. My mahi takes me into the centre of town, where I work as a Water Resources Engineer for an environmental engineering consultancy. I began in this role shortly after completing the Venn Fellowship, so have been there for almost two years now.
One of the ways in which Christians understand life with God is friendship. What is friendship with Christ like for you? What are you learning now?
Friendship with Christ is a difficult one for me to reflect on at the moment. However, as my understanding of how God reveals himself and what relating to him looks like has continued to be challenged and expanded, I’m realising that through my friendships with people I am experiencing something of a look-in at what friendship with Christ is. When I was in the early years of my university study and a bit lonely, I prayed for deep friendships. It’s only in more recent years that I’ve realised how much that has been provided for. And I count myself very lucky to have friends who reveal Christ to me when I cannot see him for myself. I find it pretty easy to go about the patterns of life without being aware of or paying attention to that reality, but when I do choose to tune in, I think Christ feels a bit closer.
When my friends have cared for me, I’ve experienced Christ’s love.
When they’ve pursued me, I’ve been shown that Christ goes after the one.
When we are having fun and laughing together, I know the joy and lightness of being with Christ.
When they’ve challenged me, I’ve experienced Christ’s gentle correction.
When they’ve prayed for me and carried my faith, I’ve experienced what it’s like to be held by Christ.
How has your understanding of friendship changed or grown?
I think early on in my understanding of friendship, I really resonated with one of the ways C.S. Lewis describes it:
Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.
I still love that quote. Some of my dearest friends have been made through that kindred-spirit experience. But increasingly, I’ve had the realisation that I also really need friends who are not like me and with whom things in common are harder to find. I have a good friend who sees the world very differently to me. Sometimes that has been cause for tension or misunderstanding, but the mutual desire to see the other person clearly has kept us in friendship. This friend has challenged and formed my faith in ways that those who share it could not, and built my empathy for situations and people I don’t immediately understand. For these reasons, it’s become one of my most treasured relationships. I know it’s not always possible to move past significant differences in friendship, and I definitely gravitate towards those where commonalities are greater. However, I’m realising more and more that living in a world where it feels like division is growing, friendships with those who are different to me is one of the avenues that will force me to continue to steward my empathy.
You’ve grown up with a dual Samoan-Palagi heritage: how has this shaped your life in friendship?
While my cultural identity and in particular my Samoan heritage is something I’m still coming into, I think the dual influence has helped to shape some of the ways I relate to and enjoy friendship with others. One of these ways, I think, is the sense of curiosity I have for others, and the desire to know what has formed them: culture, family, upbringing. Being bi-cultural has probably given me a heightened awareness and interest for these things and the ways they make people unique. I think that sense of curiosity has really helped me in relating to others and forming deep friendships. Another way I enjoy friendship, and one of my favourite ways at that, is through humour. I feel pretty lucky that through my whakapapa, I have access to both Samoan and Palagi expressions of humour. This has added real colour to the way I relate to others, and I’ve found particular joy as well in noticing the ways humour is used in both cultures to create connection.
When you think about friendship in the wider culture, what encouragement do you want to share?
I think friendships are one of God’s greatest gifts to us. They really make life better. I think my encouragement would be: steward that gift of relating with others well—to really go deep and be vulnerable with trusted people, and to be a good friend to those that need one. And ultimately I guess, to glorify God in delighting in the fun and lightness and gift of friendship.
